Understanding Behaviour as Communication
A Guide for Families Schools and Support Teams
BMe Supports | Updated 12 October 2026
A child pushes their worksheet away. A teenager stops answering questions. An adult leaves a busy activity without warning.
We can see what happened, but the reason may be less obvious. The task might be confusing, the environment overwhelming or the person in pain. They may be saying no in the most accessible way available to them.
Understanding behaviour as communication means becoming curious about a person’s experience and checking what they need. At BMe Supports, this perspective informs our neuro-affirming Positive Behaviour Support and counselling.
What does behaviour as communication mean
Communication includes speech, gestures, facial expressions, movement, pictures and devices. Behaviour can also provide information about feelings, preferences and unmet needs.
This does not mean every action is a deliberate message. A response to distress may happen before someone can explain it. Our interpretation is a starting point to check with the person, rather than a fact about what they are thinking.
For autistic children, noticing and responding to different communication attempts can help them feel understood. The Raising Children Network’s communication guide explains how families can recognise these attempts.
Look beyond labels
Words such as “manipulative”, “naughty” or “attention-seeking” can close down questions before we have understood the situation.
Try describing what you observed:
“Threw the pencil after being given a second worksheet.”
“Moved away when the room became crowded.”
“Asked the same question several times before the appointment.”
Descriptions like these give families and professionals something useful to explore. They also leave room for the person’s own explanation.
The Australian Childhood Foundation’s article on behaviour as communication explores how language influences our understanding of children affected by trauma.
What might be contributing to behaviour
Several factors can overlap. Consider tiredness, hunger, illness, anxiety, friendship difficulties, changes in routines and whether expectations match the child’s current skills.
Sensory experiences matter too. Noise, crowded spaces, clothing textures or lighting may make an ordinary activity uncomfortable or difficult to access.
For example, if a child avoids a busy lunch area, we might investigate the sound level, seating, social demands and whether they can eat somewhere more comfortable.
Avoid assuming that a behaviour is “just autism” or “just anxiety”. New or unexplained changes, particularly when pain or illness may be involved, deserve discussion with a health professional.
Read more through The Royal Children’s Hospital’s school-age behaviour guide and Raising Children Network’s sensory sensitivities guide.
How trauma can affect behaviour
Children who have experienced frightening or harmful events may respond through anger, withdrawal, distress or efforts to protect themselves. Situations that appear ordinary to others may feel unsafe to them.
A trauma-informed approach considers safety, trust and relationships when planning support. It allows us to ask what helps the child feel secure and what might make interactions harder.
Behaviour alone does not establish that someone has experienced trauma. Similar behaviours can have different explanations. Avoid pressing a child to disclose experiences or using a behavioural observation to diagnose a trauma-related condition.
The Australian Childhood Foundation discusses protective responses in children affected by trauma. The Royal Children’s Hospital’s trauma guide explains when further support may be needed.
Responding when someone is distressed
In a difficult moment, start with safety and support. Depending on the person and their agreed plan, helpful responses may include:
Speaking calmly and using fewer words.
Giving time to process information.
Reducing noise or the number of people talking.
Offering space while remaining available.
Avoiding pressure to explain everything immediately.
A child might find “I’m here when you’re ready” easier to manage than repeated questions.
When everyone is ready, return to what happened and explore what could help next time. Understanding distress can sit alongside clear, respectful safety boundaries. Adults can acknowledge a feeling while helping a child find a safer response.
Emerging Minds provides guidance on understanding and supporting children’s emotions and behaviour.
Make communication easier before distress grows
People need reliable ways to express “no”, “help”, “stop”, “I need a break” and “something hurts”.
A speech pathologist can help assess communication needs. Support might involve pictures, gestures, Key Word Sign or augmentative and alternative communication, often called AAC.
Check that the person’s communication system is available across everyday settings and that supporters know how to respond. Someone can speak fluently and still need another way to communicate at certain times.
For example, a person might prefer pointing to a break card when overwhelmed, even though they usually communicate through speech.
See Raising Children Network’s guidance on autistic children’s communication.
Notice patterns without jumping to conclusions
Brief, factual records can help a team understand what is happening. Useful questions include:
What happened immediately beforehand?
What did the person do?
How did others respond?
When does the same activity go well?
What does the person say or show about their experience?
Sleep, food or mood records may provide extra context when relevant. A pattern is a clue to investigate; it does not prove a cause.
Agree with your practitioner what information is useful, how it will be collected and how privacy will be protected. The aim is to understand support needs without making everyday life revolve around recording behaviour.
How a Functional Behaviour Assessment can help
A Functional Behaviour Assessment (FBA) investigates the likely function or purpose of behaviours of concern. It considers the person’s circumstances, observations, data and information from their support network.
The assessment informs an individualised behaviour support plan. Strategies may involve changing the environment, improving access to communication, developing useful skills and helping supporters respond consistently.
The NDIS Commission’s Behaviour Support Assessment and FBA Practice Guide explains the importance of a thorough assessment, including consideration of health, psychological, social and environmental factors.
Behaviour as communication and NDIS support
NDIS Positive Behaviour Support focuses on understanding behaviour and meeting individual needs while improving quality of life and protecting rights.
For a participant with behaviours that create risks or significantly affect everyday life, specialist behaviour support may help identify practical changes. It can involve the participant, family, support workers and relevant professionals.
Read the NDIS Commission’s explanation of behaviour support.
Before booking an NDIS-funded service, check that your plan and funding arrangements cover it. The NDIS guide to support budgets explains flexible and stated funding.
When to seek professional support
Speak with a health professional when distress is intense, persistent or affecting daily life, learning or relationships. New physical symptoms or suspected pain also warrant medical attention.
Depending on the concern, support may involve a GP, paediatrician, psychologist, counsellor, speech pathologist, occupational therapist or behaviour support practitioner.
You can start by explaining what has changed, where difficulties occur and what you have already tried. You do not need to know the cause before asking for help.
Understanding behaviour with BMe Supports
BMe Supports provides neuro-affirming, trauma-informed services that consider the person’s communication, relationships, everyday environments and goals.
Our services include Positive Behaviour Support, Functional Behaviour Assessments and counselling for individuals and families.
If you are seeking behaviour support in Geelong or Bannockburn, or want to discuss suitable telehealth support elsewhere in Australia, contact our team to explore your options.
Explore our behaviour support services, learn about counselling, or make a referral.
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